2:17 AM

Hey everyone, long time no talk.

It is currently 2:18, however I started this blog at 2:17. Not that it really matters haha. I'm sorry I haven't really been on! I have been fairly busy with school and my grandpa being in the hospital doesn't leave me much time to go on and write.. Only at this hour of the night! 

Well I must say, it feels nice to write. I have been keeping a lot of stuff in recently.. I've had "dates" that never happened, either a) being blown off, or b) being blown off. Haha. And it also doesn't help the fact that I still miss him terribly. It physically hurts. Yes, still. The only thing that has been easier to do is mask it. I can tell people pretty easily that I'm over him and that it means nothing to me now but it hurts each time I say it. And I just realized I wrote something similar to this on my last post. And it's been over a week. Getting pretty pathetic. But I couldn't care less right now. It seems, no matter what I do he keeps coming back to me. Like today for example, I busied myself with little things like playing video games and reading and talking to my parents, going to visit my grandfather in the hospital, yet he manages to pop in my mind. I don't know why, I try so hard to keep him out. But he always comes back. It's obvious I'm not over him, but could it mean something else? Or am I just being naive and hopeless? Ok, so back from my little break that I just took to check if I had any txt messages and guess what. I have 4!!! And one missed call. Wanna try and take a guess at who? None other than my ex boyfriend. CAN THIS GET ANYMORE CONFUSING!!!!!!! UGH! I don't know wtf (excuse my french) IS GOING ON. I need answers. GUYS HELP ME OUT. And by guys I mean everyone, not just boys... I should probably use People instead of Guys. 

Great fucking start to a great fucking day. Sorry for my french. I don't even care.

xoxo

Steph.

fuck this.